When planning a first date there are many things to consider, the most obvious being where to go. You will also probably consider what to wear, whether you should pick her up or meet her there, and if you should pick up the tab or go dutch. Assuming you’ve got those parts figured out, one of the most important things that you should be armed with is knowledge about what is safe to talk about, and what should be avoided.
Coming up with things to talk about can be aided by the activity you choose to engage in on the date. For example, going to a movie gives you a built in conversation starter for the dinner table afterwards. You can discuss the film, the actors, and what you did or didn’t like about it.
If you venture out to a museum, the conversation will be aided by the things you see. Regardless of what you choose to do, you should be able to keep the conversation moving along by asking simple get to know you questions and offering up some general information about yourself. Whatever you do, there are a few topics of conversation that you should steer clear of.
Dating Topics – What to Avoid
Do not bring up the following topics of conversation on a first date: politics, religion, or love. These are subjects that are quite personal and that many people feel quite passionate about. The last thing you want to do on a first date is delve into your thoughts on politics or religion. This could spark a heated debate if you don’t share the same opinions and your first date could come to an end before it’s had a chance to begin. People are very sensitive about these topics so it’s best to tread the water lightly later on in the getting to know you process.
Alternatively, if you’re looking for a serious relationships and want to know right out the gate their opinions on dealbreaker issues (Republican vs Democrat, kids vs no kids, etc), then bring these topics up. Just know you may suffer for it.
Love is another topic that should be avoided. A first date is too early to be inquiring about why someone is single, if they’ve ever been in love before, or if they are currently looking for love. Too much pressure! If you think about it, you don’t want to have to answer these questions either right off the hop so don’t pester your first date with these inquiries either.
What to Say – Or Not
Sometimes it can be hard to come up with things to say on a first date and you might start grasping at straws. It’s not a bad idea to have a plan and a list of safe questions to ask should you find the conversation lacking. But at all costs, do not bring up the subjet of money. Don’t offer up what you make or ask your date about her income. Don’t ask about her parents or what they do. This could make you look like all you care about is money and status.
Avoid commenting on her social media posts as this could make you come across as a stalker. Do not use this date as an opportunity to unload your day, or week, or month. If you start dumping your woes on a first date you’re going to come across as unhappy and not much fun. And whatever you do, do not comment on her eating. Whether she eats like a bird or wolfs down her burger faster than you, keep your comments to yourself. There is no way to win with a woman when you comment on her eating.
If you keep these tips in mind, avoid these first date conversational pit falls, and focus on the small stuff, odds are you’ll be able to talk your way to the second date.